Going Home

Posted by Andy Durham on June 26, 2007 at 11:24 am under Uncategorized | 10 Comments to Read

I’ve spent the past several days away from the greensborosports.com site dealing with issues I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Over the past 4-6 months I’ve seen Moses Cone, Wesley Long, Duke University Cancer Center, Adams Farm Extended Care, the emergency room, intensive care, the cancer center, Hospice, Palliative Care, the Funeral Home, and then on to the cemetery.

Being around sports and athletics will prepare you for a lot of things but Cancer is a series of battles and you lose the War in the end. My mother died from Leukemia early last Friday morning and the end was not a pretty sight.

The doctors try to get you ready for the closure but they can only feed you some standard lines and nobody knows what will happen in the last hours. All the days, months, years, and long hours of athletic training can’t have you set up for the final countdown because you don’t know exactly when the actual end is going to come.

The Palliative Care nurses will try to get you ready but all they do is say we will work to get the patient as comfortable as possible, but I’m here to tell you that there was no relief for my mom in those last hours.

You grow tired of seeing one of your closest relatives contantly losing blood but you still wish the ending could be happy and quiet but no such luck this time around. With all the blood problems, my mom began to look like you had thrown her on the ground and you had beaten the crap out of her. Black and blue with bruises all over.

My mom has moved on to better place and I have nothing but total gradtitude for her doctor at the Moses Cone Regional Cancer Center, Dr. Lauretta Odogwu-Oti. Dr. Odogwu is from Nigeria and she and her fellow countrymen are very aggressive when it comes to achieving success in medical science. For those in Palliative Care you present a nice standard line of comfort and care but my closing words for your department are, “Screw You”.

The News and Record continued their recent string of consistency by failing to run the obituary correctly. The run was set for Saturday and Sunday. The N&R ran the Obit Saturday and left it out of Sunday’s paper so they had to run a make-good on Monday at no charge.

My mom spent 85 years here with her family and the last 6 months were not part of the original plan but now she is finally at peace and she is Going Home.

*****It’s always been my plan to tell you what I really think and have to say because it makes for a much more interesting read and what I’m stating here is what most people would be thinking but will never say. It’s good to have a place to write it like it really is.*****


  • Kevin said,

    My sympathies to you, Andy, and your family during this difficult time. The loss of a loved one is never easy, but it sounds like the medical establishment did little to help with the ordeal. I can only hope that through God’s power you and your family will gain the strength you need to deal with this loss and honor the memory of your dear mother. Your friends will always support you and will be there for you. God bless.

  • Doug said,

    Losing a parent is never easy and it is a real shame that the people at this Palliative Care sound like they dropped the ball. As Kevin said above, your friends will be here to support you as you have done for all of us in the past. May the Good Lord bring you peace in this difficult time.

  • Marshall Brown said,

    I’m sorry to hear about your mother Andy, and Chuck. I wish your family well. I know all too well exactly what you are talking about. The medical industry in this country has a LOT of room for improvement. I hate your mother had to suffer, but I’m sure she is in a better place now.

  • Mike said,

    My sympathies to you and yours, Andy.
    The death of a loved one is rarely easy and we don’t always understand it.
    But God always is.

  • Rob © said,

    Deepest sympathies to you and your family Andy. You are in my family’s hearts and prayers. God Bless.

  • Johnny said,

    Our thoughts go out to you and your family.

  • Rick said,

    I wish the best to you and all of the people involved. Family, friends, doctors, ETC. Hopefully you can let the healing process begin.

  • Sharon said,

    Andy,
    You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. Friends are always waiting to support you during all of life’s ups and downs.
    The Moore Family

  • Mike said,

    Said some more prayers for you and yours today Andy.
    Hope they helped.

  • Mike Freid said,

    Nice letter except for the rude part about the palliative care team. Please, people die, especially at 85. What did you expect? The 6 months your mum took to die is probably because you and your family insisted on aggressive treatment. When can folks finally understand that death is part of the natural process of life?
    I know you will find those words hurtful but I thought someone had to say them.
    All my sympathy for your loss. You will experience many more losses in the years to come. Hopefully, you will weather those better and with more tolerance.
    Sincerely
    Mike. A palliative care health professional